14. Brick Lane Beigel Bake - Salt beef beigel - £3.70

I've decided there's too much foodery in this food blog so I thought I'd throw in some introductions to the greedier of my friends that keep me company while I eat lots under the pretence of research.

First up is my sister who plans her day around meals to almost the same degree as me (routine is key to good parenting, clearly... as is feeding them). Not only is she an expert eater but she also proofreads my ramblings and makes excellent suggestions that I rarely take on board out of stubbornness. 

We have a long history, me and her (those 2.5 years at the beginning without her are just a blur) so who better to be guest blog contributor? Plus, she has a better camera on her phone than me.

So this is Holly and her face doing her best Jamie Oliver:


Some interesting facts about Holly: 

1. She once made the mistake of falling into a holly-bush at a family reunion; the irony of which was not lost on our large extended family and, in the 20 years since, has yet to be forgotten.

2. Though generally supportive, she still basically wets herself laughing over the time I tripped over backpacking, couldn't get up under the weight of my stuff and floundered on the ground, UNAIDED, for a good 5 minutes. Having watched me right myself she finished the giggle fit with a reassuring "EVERYONE saw!". Thanks.

3. Her default tune (the one you hum when you're away with the fairies) is 'Just Around the River Bend' from Pocahontas. It's really quite moving when her subconscious properly gets going.

4. She displays feeder tendencies; tendencies that manifest themselves in excessive (and delicious) baking; tendencies I'm completely OK with.

And that's everything you need to know about Holly... so back to food!

Brick Lane Beigel Bake is POPULAR and for good reason as it turns out. The queue on a Saturday afternoon was long, but those ladies behind the counter are efficient. We were back on the street, slightly dazed but clutching 2 beigels and plenty of change from a tenner, before we knew it.  

Thick chunks of pink, super succulent salt beef in a soft, fresh, slightly sweet beigel with great globs of punch-you-up-the-nostril-and-make-your-eyes-water mustard. There was silence and must have been facial expressions (I imagine dreamy ones), prompting a nearby homeless gentleman to comment 'Good, aren't they?'.

Yes sir, yes they are.

Now, having done a bit of research, I think I might be the last person to know about this place but, in case I'm not, I will be spreading the good word.

You walk in and see the queue doubled back on itself, the ridiculously reasonable price list, the general hustle and bustle in the open bakery and you instantly want to be a Regular (capital 'R'). The kind of place you want them to know your name (not like places where it's depressing when that happens, like Starbucks). 

If you haven't already, go here and prepare for an awakening. I will be returning wearing a name tag.

13. Antepliler - Kebabs, £11-ish

I've had another falling out with The List.

Now, I've been on enough last-minute, 'bargain' package holidays to know that the traditional dish of just about anywhere is grilled meat with chips, rice or, if you're somewhere particularly exotic, cous cous. If you get the odd olive or onion in there, you know you're on a fancy one.

Antepliler, named for Antep, the the town it takes its inspiration from, seems to follow the same theory. The List was pretty general in its recommendation of kebabs and we all know what happens when left to choose for myself.. (brains, brains is what happens - see Medlar).

I went for the Lamb Shish; diced lamb in tomato sauce (with rice). The meat, for lack of a better word, was generically meaty. It was tender and well cooked but it was chore to get through, especially when accompanied with the eye-wateringly salty, tomato sauce. 

Sheesh!

Across the table, my friend had the Sogan Kebab; lamb with shallots in a pomegranate sauce (with rice). They weren't lying about the shallots which were numerous. Not so much with the pomegranate, which was lacking. At one point I watched on as it became a silent battle: girl versus mouthful after mouthful of unadulterated shallot. 

Sogan

According to the list, Antepliler does justice to the Antep cuisine which is famed throughout Turkey. However, by this logic (and I've never been there so I can't confirm), I'm assuming that the entire population of Antep is made up of middle-aged British tourists that enjoy reasonably priced sunshine, local culture at a safe distance and food that gently nudges the boundaries ("Look, it comes on a stick!), without busting through.

In summary, it felt like that tourist experience, only without that token traditional dance showcase. That's shallot (had to be done).