3. Gelupo, Soho - Blood Orange Granita £3-ish

I LIKE ice cream. In fact at any given point, I don't like to be more than a few hundred yards from an ice cream shop. You'd think it'd make travelling inconvenient but London seems to be filling up with gelatorias and, when they're interspersed with their poorer cousin, the frozen yoghurt shop, you can pretty much get across the city. Ice cream crawl anyone?

So I picked one of those rare sunny British Summer days (not that the weather plays any factor in my ice cream consumption - see graph) and headed for Piccadilly to give Gelupo a try. I took along my good friend and only person I know that likes ice cream more than me (I go nuts for dessert in any form; he is a purist - warm puddings actually offend him).

Because he wanted his own greedy animal name he'll be known as the Very Hungry Caterpillock.

Pillock for short.

The weather:ice cream phenomenom, nom, nom

I tend to avoid sorbet and the like; somehow getting less calories for the same price just doesn't feel like value for money. However, The List cares not for verging-on-fetishist desires and, while overlooking all that ice creamy goodness for the granita was tough, I stuck to it (while making a mental list of the flavours I will one day marry).

Handily comes with a spoon and a straw

It was pretty flippin' good. While it didn't satisfy the same sugary-fat craving as ice cream, the orange flavour was intense and fresh. Unsurprising considering that all they put in it is orange juice, sugar and ice. For it's simplicity and quality, it deserves it's top ten position and it's a refreshing treat for a hot day.

On a side note, and shamefully on my part (I blame my few remaining baby tastebuds), it did taste a little bit like a Calippo for grown-ups (remember those?!). But it was the best Calippo I've ever had - much less neon and none of the E-number kick of my youth.

In terms of the shop itself, Time Out was right; this place isn't a tourist trap. Having fought our way through the piles of tourists stuck in traps (aka rickshaws), it was a relief to get into the cool (in both senses of the word), stylishly decked-out shop.

Safe to say, it will remain an important outpost on my strategic ice cream map of London. However, the Pillock later said that the envious glint in my eye as I perved over his Bonet ice cream (chocolate, rum, amaretto, espresso and caramel) made him fear for his life so I'll admit; on my return, it'll be the gelato that gets my attention.

2. Yalla Yalla, Soho - Sawda Djej (Chicken liver with pomegranate molasses)

We all move in our own social circles and it should give you an idea of mine when I say that I ended up in the original, teeny-tiny Yalla Yalla having just attended the London premiere of Dark Knight Rises.

That's right, I move in the circles of utterly overwhelmed competition winners. Despite having walked apologetically (for not being even mildly famous) along the red carpet ("...the red carpet?! But I've come straight from work!"), the film was awesome. And what better way to reflect on an evening that included receiving a free bag of M&Ms (win!) and seeing Tom Hardy in the flesh, than to eat some highly recommended offal?


OK, bit blurry BUT, from right to left: Christopher Nolan (director), Christian Bale (that's right, Batman), Tom Hardy (Bane), some guy from WB. I was sat in front of Benedict Cumberbatch... sucker.

I know I said in my first post that there is literally nothing I won't eat, but liver (along with its good friend kidney) features pretty low on my "foods-I'll-go-out-of-my-way-to-eat" list, so I can't say I was overly excited about this one. However, The List had spoken... in so far as writing can speak.

I wasn't totally sure what pomegranate molasses were so I went off and googled it for you fine people and this is what I found:

"A thick, fragrant and gloriously tangy reduction of pomegranate juice, made by boiling the liquid to a sticky, syrupy consistency, pomegranate molasses is a key ingredient of Middle Eastern-Mediterranean cooking."

So there you go... pomegranate goo.

I like pomegranate goo. The sweetness was a yummy contrast to the savoury liver and made for a tasty dish. The down side was that animal-filter-grainy texture only kidneys and livers can provide; the one that reminds you THIS IS GOOD FOR YOU and in no way steak. I'm trying to think of a comparison but I think it might be in a league of its own; answers in the comments please.

 

Not the prettiest of dishes so kept the picture dainty (thank you Time Out)

However, this was mezze. I love mezze. It's the perfect meal for the indecisively greedy - you're allowed to try a bit of everything you fancy (something that's just that bit less socially acceptable with British food). So the livers were accompanied by spicy sausages, lamb parcels, houmous and pitta, and complimentary olives (complimentary food is another favourite). All this washed down with cocktails and finished off with a bit of Baklava, because dinner isn't dinner without a happy, sugary ending (despite the starter of free M&Ms).

All the dishes were excellent but, controversially, I'd have to say I preferred the sausages. Call me unadventurous but I think I prefer my odd pieces of animal nicely mushed up and indistinguishable. And who doesn't enjoy a spicy sausage?

There are 4 different Yalla Yallas around town but this (their first) restaurant is cosy (only 28 seats) and relaxed; one of those handy little "I-know-this-great-little-place" places. 

Keeping it simple at Yalla Yalla, Green's Court

In the end, I can see why the livers made the list - they're an unusual flavour and definitely worth a try even if you're not sure. However, having just revisited the menu, I've just spotted Sfiha which has pomegranate goo with lamb, hold the offal. Problem solved - that'll be on the list (my list, not The List) for next time, and there will definitely be a next time. 

1. Hawksmoor Bar, Spitalfields – Shortrib French Dip, £12

It took me over a month to actually get started on these top 100 dishes. I think I'm an ideas person - lots of grand ideas about self-improvement (or in this case, self-enlargement), not so much of the ol' plan execution. It doesn't help that I'm also a bit... not poor exactly but... "financially aware" and, despite the whole 'you can't take it with you' thing I mentioned last time, it'd be nice to have the option.

However, I do have a friend who is more of the doing kind and has a looser grip on their purse strings, who booked a table at the Hawksmoor Bar in Spitalfields and insisted I attend.

Now, I had ideas of maybe starting with a smaller (read cheaper) dish to ease myself into this project, maybe a £3 hot dog from Big Apple Hot Dogs, something like that, but a top ten-er?? Surely that has to be earned. Could I just dive right in like this?

Of course I could, I don't need telling twice to eat! And off I went.

Having sat down in the moodily-lit (dark), vintage-tiled bar, I made my order. For someone as indecisive as I am, it's pretty nice to relinquish all the responsibility of choosing to The List (capitalised to reflect it's impending importance in my life).



Oh my.

Oh my, oh my, oh my (it felt wrong to swear in writing but feel free to replace with your preferred expletive). I’m not normally one to over-exaggerate but put simply, this is possibly one of the tastiest things since tastebuds were invented. 

Seriously, I have inappropriately intense feelings towards this little meaty, cheesy slice of heaven. Top 10 in Time Out’s book, number 1 in my LIFE.

Melt-in-the-mouth braised shortrib with nommy (the technical term) melted cheese in a glazed roll with super-rich, marrow gravy for dipping. Just look at it:

Not my own photo I'm afraid, this was before I had the idea of inflicting my opinions on others. But Hummanah!

That first bite is followed by a narrowing of the vision and flashbacks to your happiest childhood memory. The second bite is spent in quiet contemplation, while the third is sprayed over your dining companion as you try to put into words just how delicious it is before grudgingly allowing them a taste.

Mine was accompanied with poutine; a Canadian dish of chips in that epic gravy, with cheese AND chicken AND an optional egg (rude not to). HOW have I never heard of this before?? The token nod towards vegetables came in the form of jalepeno coleslaw but, to be honest, that's now just a bit of a blur, distracted as I was by my gravy-induced euphoria.

While I'm here, I can’t not mention the Marmalade cocktail (of which there were multiple) – tangy, orangey sweetness; horribly easy to drink.

All-in-all a verging-on-religious experience and one I repeated within two weeks of the first visit, only this time with the addition of the peanut butter shortbread, which did not disappoint. Oh, and many, many more cocktails (a purse lightener, but totally worth it).

I now count myself as a very happy unofficial Hawksmoor spokesperson. As I have said to pretty much anyone I've crossed paths with since - GO HERE.

I think I might have made a mistake starting with this one - it's possible I'm spoilt for all other food now but I'm sure as hell looking forward to trying the rest!

An Introduction

So Time Out have published their 2012 list of 100 Best Dishes in London and, ever the fan of pointless yet potentially delicious goals, I have accepted the challenge. 

Why you ask? Yeah? Yeah. Well eating has always been a bit of hobby of mine, OK a major hobby, alright, a reason to live. And now, since developing a taste for coffee and moving from tolerating to liking both olives and celery, I’ve realised there is literally nothing I won’t eat. The grown-up taste buds have finally kicked in (I think this might actually mean the childhood tastebuds have died, god rest their tiny turkey-twizzler-loving souls) so what better way to give them a work out than by judging the opinions of others by eating an awful lot?

So, ignoring the protests of my purse (can’t take it with you) and waistline (I’m OK with cuddly), I embark on my pointless challenge. I’m almost certain this one will last longer than my last one*. I've even printed the list which now lives in my handbag so I can get the extra sense of achievement only the physical act of ticking off 'to do' lists with an actual pen can bring. 

Actually, as I write this, I’m already 5% of the way there (yes, that’s five of the dishes eaten and judged for those with a looser grasp of maths). I’ll be sharing my opinions on here in a shameless attempt to legitimise my gluttony. Hopefully you’ll be entertained or, at the very least get some ideas of where to go… that is, if you don’t fully trust Time Out…?

* to listen to the top 50 albums according to Rolling Stone magazine which tailed off after I’d fully exploited my housemate’s music collection. The more astute will notice there are actually 500, I started with 50 to make it more manageable, oops.